Happy 4th of July! I was ruminating last nite about how differently progressives and conservatives view the ideals of democracy and freedom. And I put together a little list of things I believe would constitute how a modern-day, Bush loving conservative would celebrate our nation's most revered holiday. And here it is:
Run over a baby seal with your hummer. (kudos to Atrios)
Waterboard the neighbor kid who you caught swiping your newspaper.
Shoot your hunting buddy in the face with a shotgun -- then hide the beers and lie to the cops.
Mow half your lawn and declare "Mission Accomplished."
Watch FOX News non-stop until your eye-balls ooze blood and your brain shrivels to the size of a raisin.
Go to church, pray for God's wrath against the evil "libruls", then go out and continue to destroy the world.
Watch a George W. Bush speech and tell everyone you understood everything he said.
Visit a famed conservative place of interest -- like Larry Craig's men's room stall at the Minneapolis airport.
Read the Aug. 2001 Presidential Daily Brief titled "Bin-Laden Determined to Strike in US", then go on vacation.
And last but not least,
Ilegally spy on your neighbors, and when you are caught claim you were defending your trailer court from hordes of marauding arab terrorists.
I'll close with a little quote from one of my favorite American radical philosophers and a true patriot:
"To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead."
Thomas Paine
US patriot & political philosopher (1737 - 1809)
----k
